After leaving Japan for 18 months, occasionally, thoughts buried under the hatchet, will once again, resurface.
“Life has a funny way of bringing things back around, reminding us that some things never truly disappear.”
Truthfully, it has been a while since I thought of my life in Japan. Especially when I start having different priorities in life than when I was a single, care-free, young adult roaming the streets of Shibuya.
It’s like, “who has time for reminisce?”
But like Indiana Jones, somehow, I find myself digging for lost treasures of my memories in Japan recently.
Guess I had time for reminisce after all.
Maybe its from prior work engagements on how many would kill to be in Japan, or, the simple summer tunes by Joe Hisaishi that makes me wonder if,
I ever made a terrible decision to leave Japan.
Seeing the desire of others in wanting to live in Japan and having been the one who did it for years, it makes me wonder if what I’m feeling is,
A regret or a reflection?
A regret that I forgave a dream that many held onto to.
Or
A reflection of how amazing and courageous I was in surviving in Japan for years.
Don’t get me wrong. I do miss Japan and man, do I miss those walks in Japan. But, there were obviously things that I did not miss as well.
Despite the confusion if it is regret or reflect, when I am asked if I would still like to live in Japan, I somehow, still hold onto some hesitation.
Maybe I have set my sights elsewhere, but one thing is certain: the mysterious dance of life has a way of transforming us as we grow older, and with it, our definition of happiness. It’s as if a delimunator was used to take, and in return, release light.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
We may never know what lies ahead, but we can’t hold onto such regrets and reflections in making our life choices. And it’s totally fine to want different things now, because, sometimes, life is bigger and beyond, you.
So, the answer to the burning question of, “will you go back to Japan?”
Is put out with the simple six words: “If the light is turned on”
Here’s to hoping it wont take another year until the next post.
Yen
Ichi Yen 
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